// RIGHT NOW I AM A-ROAMING.//

I need to vent because everything seems to be going wrong these days and continues to go wrong. I haven’t had a good day in two months. Not the kind of good day where you have fun, and laugh but just the kind of good day where you just sit back and relax and the fates don’t seem to be punishing you. 

This all started with school…I wasn’t going to pass my junior review so my advisor put me in a position that dropping out would be the best option for me. Which left me feeling really down about myself and about my future. Hours at work were cut so I went two months working 1 or 2 days a week for a few hours each shift which completely depleted my savings. My car got towed and broken into all in the same month. Then I thought things were turning around…I got a new job and this girl I had been sort of pining over the past year started talking to me again and we started hanging out. But my good fortune soon ran out when this girl decided she only saw me as a friend and I got laid off from my job. So for the past month I’ve been unemployed. But my bad luck didn’t stop there…During my desperate search for a new job I obviously couldn’t pay my bills, within a day of one another my phone broke and my internet was shut off, leaving my only ways of hearing from prospective employers non existent. Soon after that my car window broke, luckily my brother is handy when it comes to cars and spent two days fixing it so my car wouldn’t get stolen. Since then I’ve just been hit with little bursts of panicky frustration which causes anyone to have a bad day. But here’s the real kicker…there was not much more I could take at this point but of course the universe has it out for me. My cat Xander got really sick and there wasn’t a whole lot I could do for him…I didn’t sleep for 4 days so I could stay up and take care of him, force feed him and use and eyedropper to try and give him water. Though finally I came to the decision to put him down because he was in too much pain. I put down the only good thing I felt I had in my life. Through every bad day him laying on my face and feeling his purring made things better, even just for a second. Not only did I put down my best friend but as precaution I had to get rabies vaccines so I had to suffer through painful shots. After losing him I didn’t feel things could get much worse or if they did the next thing would be a friend or relative dying. But now, for unknown reasons, my best friend (the only person who actually spends time with me other then my family) hates me and won’t tell me what I did wrong. Just found this out tonight when I spent a week trying to figure out why she hadn’t been responding to my texts. And here I thought today was supposed to be my turn around since I finally found a new job. Call it running away or whatever you will but in the past 5 or 6 months I’ve never felt more lost, so with that I signed up for Americorps and I’m leaving for 10 months.

Done with my venting. I know it may seem like minimal stuff but when it’s one right after the other it tears a person down. Hopefully soon everything turns around.